iii honestly wish i could just be off with a day where i can be COMPLETELY FREE from work or anything that keeps me away from my room. BECAUSE SO MANY THINGS JUST KEEPS TRYING TO PULL ME DOWN! Oh Dad, i've lost so many things i've had in You. But even so, im not turning away at all. I'm gonna crawl my way back if i have to. Just as long as i get to have You.



Have Your way here,
keep me up, love cause i know i'll sink without You.

Oh my goodness. I have not blogged for a super jumbo long time. Been really really really busy. My sleeping pattern became oddly fixated. I sleep at the wrong time which is like in the afternoon which isn't really a good thing to do. As i'd become insomniac at night. Actually i'd sleep at times when i just feel like it. Not good. hahahaha. Well okay now, its okay. It's becoming normal again i think. :P I really thank God for being my strength throughout this whole month if not i would have gone insane. It's not even the middle month yet, but i'm already starting to feel the workload coming and coming and coming. Somehow it gives you that feeling, where you think you don't have much to do at all, when deep inside you know you actually do have a lot. More like you're trying to avoid it. Projects after projects, homeworks after homeworks, lots of activities being pressured on to us as this year is our last year and all. IT'S CRAZY! You know what the worse part was? EVERYTHING CAME IN ALL AT ONCE! It's not just this but also many many temptations and other disturbance that filled my head that gave me no space to think about anything else. But in my heart, i knew i was still grabbing on tightly to God.

I remember earlier this year. I had a morning prayer. I was desperately just seeking Him to prepare myself for later this year. Cause i kind of felt a little scared of what is gonna happen. And all, so i was just sitting down on my bed, flowing and flowing in the spirit. Till God gave me a vision, an angel appeared beside me..okay i got scared. HAHA, but he told me not to be afraid. So i just relaxed myself and all. And he also said that this year for me, i will be facing LOTS AND LOTS of consequences and again told me not to be afraid. But instead to lean on Him at all times. That echoed in my head for quite sometime. Lean on Him.. lean lean lean. I kind of thought about it the whole day. But i guess this made me feel a whole lot better. At least i know what i'm heading for and am gonna prepare for it. Not that i know exactly WHAT IS GOING TO HAPPEN but i have God to walk through it all. :)



okay, i have to head off now, got assignments to do. :(

times when we are faithless, He remains faithful.

Rise Up;

Whee! Tired. Just got back from The Mall. Watched the chipmunk movie. It was so adorable. Especially Theodore. Watched it with my two brothers and Soph. Hahaha. Soph has weird appetite. Hmm. So weird that i'm feeling really full right now. :S Anyways, now i'm just trying to remember a song. Getting it now. Well i'm not really singing it. But i'm singing it in my heart. Later, i'm gonna have to really sing it to find the key i'm comfortable in. Hahaha kaboom! Christmas is up in 2 days! :) AMAZING!


okay, i should really go and practise. I KNOW THIS IS SHORT BUT YA! :D

so i think this was absolutely pointless. Oh wells! :)

Merry Christmas!

I Offer Devotion;

Good morning! I woke up really early today. Hahaha like around 5.41? For some reason I just woke up. BUT ANYWAYS, Acts was great yesterday. We had a CG VS CG Christmas Carol showdown. It was hilarious. HAHA. Then we watched Evan Almighty. It was pretty good! A really good movie. Who would have thought actors who are actually NON-BELIEVERS acting out a Christian movie. ;D Awesome! Then we had an awesome ministry time. God's presence was really there, moving so strongly. It was a long time since i've went before the altar. I mean i don't depend on it but it was just such a long time. (: Right there, i felt God's goodness pouring out upon us all. I realized that i need God to be my strength. So many times, i've told people that. But never knowing that i needed that too. But there were so many times i've been so scared and intimidated by my imagination. I have lots of really bad bad imaginations and sometimes it just stops me from doing what i'm suppose to do. Thinking of it now, i feel like a hypocrite. I was reading up on the book of Samuel where people actually were thinking of stoning David. Okay, stone as in totally stone to death. Not just picking up one pebble and flicking it at him. But really throwing it at him. I think for a second David felt troubled. But instantly he thought about God. So he strengthened himself in God. And like i said, when you CHOOSE to follow God, to take His side, He will definitely help you. 100%.

7 Then David said to Abiathar the priest, the son of Ahimelech, "Bring me the ephod." Abiathar brought it to him,
8 and David inquired of the LORD, "Shall I pursue this raiding party? Will I overtake them?"
"Pursue them," He answered. "You will certainly overtake them and succeed in the rescue."


This morning, as i woke up, God led me to the book of Acts in the Bible. It spoke about Spiritual Leadership. I was thinking of what it had to do with me, then it suddenly hit me. New G. In the first chapter it talked about the Holy Spirit. How we need the Holy Spirit to accomplish so many things. I believe what God is trying to do is to equip me with the Word for next year. I seriously don't know what's about to befall me but i believe i will get through it with God. It's funny how God chose next year for me to lead it. With the so called big exams coming up and all. But i believe that there is a reason for it. And God put me through it because He knows that I can make it. :) YEA MAN!

When you feel like you are in a really tough situation now, don't give up man. God knows you can do it. He will never put you in a situation where it will be too tough for you. If it's too tough, you'd be dead by now man. So if you have a situation, and you are still here ..



You can do it. (:

Okay, i'm done. HAHAHAHAHA. Will blog more soon. :)

TOODLES!

I wanna blaze with You;

I think this will be a quick one! :D ANYWAYS, new layout. :D YES, if you're wondering if that's all, yes it is. This is how simple i intend the layout to be. Usually, i have really high expectations on layouts and all, but now for some reason, i just love simple ones too. Whacky layouts make me feel heavy. :P HAHA. Anyways, i had an interesting morning. Was just having my morning talk with God. It was amazing. I laid aside everything that was in my heart to open up a way.. a path for God to just come and take over. It was insane! With my cracked, not so pleasant voice, i sang Second Chance. I didn't really care how i sounded but i wanted nothing more than to just offer up devotion to Him to even care how i sounded. I felt God. So i just went with the flow. I don't know if i had tears from yawning or was i really crying but i don't recall yawning. So i think it was really just God's presence overflowing in my little bedroom. My sanctuary. My hill. I felt so peaceful in my heart. It's just amazing when you trust God to just make everything okay when you lay it all at His feet. When you CHOOSE to do so, He does wonderful things. Giving us that sense of peace, comfort, telling us that He's drawing near to you and not be afraid. Who can not enjoy God's presence man! Then suddenly i started laughing. I DON'T KNOW WHY! I started laughing, then i felt God laughing along. HAHA SO I LAUGHED LIKE MAD! Omg. I was just filled with so much joy. THEN THEN.. i started tearing. :P HAHAHA. I kept thanking Him for all that He's done to me, and all that He was to me all my life. Oh man.

God is an amazing God. So worthy of our lives. He's so much more than a God. A Father. A best friend who you really can rely on 24/7. God doesn't expect us to be oh so perfect and HOLY. Okay, when i say HOLY i meant, like totally being so into the religion more than GOD himself. He doesn't want that man. God is near to the broken hearted. :)

PSALMS 34:18

18 The LORD is close to the brokenhearted
and saves those who are crushed in spirit.

Despite our imperfections, He loves us so much more than we'd ever know. So much more that He gave His one and ONLY Son for us.


55 I called on Your name, O LORD,
From the lowest pit.

56 You have heard my voice:
“ Do not hide Your ear
From my sighing, from my cry for help.”

57 You drew near on the day I called on You,
And said, “Do not fear!”



awesome, no? :)

Love Enough;

Psalms 51

1 Have mercy on me, O God,
because of your unfailing love.
Because of your great compassion,
blot out the stain of my sins.

2 Wash me clean from my guilt.
Purify me from my sin.

3 For I recognize my rebellion;
it haunts me day and night.

4 Against you, and you alone, have I sinned;
I have done what is evil in your sight.
You will be proved right in what you say,
and your judgment against me is just.[a]

5 For I was born a sinner—
yes, from the moment my mother conceived me.

6 But you desire honesty from the womb,[b]
teaching me wisdom even there.

7 Purify me from my sins,[c] and I will be clean;
wash me, and I will be whiter than snow.

8 Oh, give me back my joy again;
you have broken me—
now let me rejoice.

9 Don’t keep looking at my sins.
Remove the stain of my guilt.

10 Create in me a clean heart, O God.
Renew a loyal spirit within me.

11 Do not banish me from your presence,
and don’t take your Holy Spirit[d] from me.

12 Restore to me the joy of your salvation,
and make me willing to obey you.

13 Then I will teach your ways to rebels,
and they will return to you.

14 Forgive me for shedding blood, O God who saves;
then I will joyfully sing of your forgiveness.

15 Unseal my lips, O Lord,
that my mouth may praise you.

16 You do not desire a sacrifice, or I would offer one.
You do not want a burnt offering.

17 The sacrifice you desire is a broken spirit.
You will not reject a broken and repentant heart, O God.

18 Look with favor on Zion and help her;
rebuild the walls of Jerusalem.

19 Then you will be pleased with sacrifices offered in the right spirit—
with burnt offerings and whole burnt offerings.
Then bulls will again be sacrificed on your altar.

Wash me clean.

How can we live and not see Your sacrifice?

God Of My Forever;

Okay, that's not mine but it's so adorable! HAHA. It's Soph's. :P Hello! It seems like i haven't been blogging here. Mostly blogging in Balijecello. Freshwinds tomorrow!! Not that i'm going, but i'm just excited for everyone else who is going and what message Ps.Satish would bring forth and they'd tell me ALL about it. :) No, really, it's really a bummer for me not being able to go but i can't do much about it, can I? Well like what Von said to me, "This is what we call, obeying your parents." There were times where i felt frustrated cause i feel like as if i couldn't go ANYWHERE at all. But it's fine. I'm pressing on in prayer. :) Doesn't sound convincing, does it? HAHA, i guarantee breakthrough! Don't know when, don't know how..but it's gonna happen! Anyways, i'm gonna miss Mel. Won't be able to talk to her for 4 days. :P But it's all good. It's for a good cause! She's gonna have the time of her life in Miri. :P And i get to have the time of my life in Brunei! HAHA! I know attending conferences are like super woah, guaranteed-the-touch-of-God thing but i know that God can move just about anywhere else in this world. :) God is EVERYWHERE! Wee! :D Yesterday, i went to the airport because it was my brother's birthday dinner. :D Saw quite a few people i know. :P I saw Shin Lin and her sister, and Armilda and her sister. HAHA. Poked Shin Lin but she didn't notice. No doubt she felt it but she must have thought someone else bumped her or something. OH WELLS. :D Here was what I had for dessert.

It had blueberry, custard and whatever inside. I just ate it. It was okay for me but i think i was too full to even appreciate and bother what it really tasted like. :) I didn't finish it though. :S

Doesn't it look like ice cream? :D But it isn't. It's like chocolate mousse. It tasted so sweet. :S Tasted good but SO SWEET! I think i liked water even better. :P

Mel, i've got something for you.

JABALI JABALI JABALI HEY!

JABALI HABALI JABALI HEY!

DEEPAVALI!

HAHAHAHA. omg.